Have no idea what to do my husband won't correct my step son!!!!!!!!!!!?

Ok so my step son is 15 an i have been there since he was 6.We have had a good relationship till the last two years an he has been acting awfull.He has vandalized the school& chucky cheese,sent 250 txt messages to a teacher calling her every ugly word in the book,got caught Smokin,got caught Smokin weed,got caught stealing,an got kicked off the soccor team.Now we have grounded him took everything away.An just the other day he was pumping gas an he calls my husband a stupid mother fuc*** because he took to long having the lady turn on the pump.I told my husband what he said an he said OK I'LL TALK TO HIM.Now for me big problem for my husband he didn't do anything but talk to him.My husband thinks i'm being mean if i yell at him for staying stuff like this.Or if i sound rude but now my step son can call me a fat *** or says **** you to me an my husband will talk to him or he'll take his phone for a day.We have children younger than him that sees this!! If i get onto my step son an i am rude to him an he gets rude to me or yells or breaks something my husband will say he shouldn't but he also says to me you shouldn't have been rude.To me i'm the adult i shouldn't have to be rude he should listen to me it shouldn't be an argument he should listen!!!!We have been married for 9 yrs an i don't know how much more of this i can take i love him an my step son but this is to much!!